Ouch! That Hurts My Privilege!
There is this one scene from the American comedy show “Modern Family” in which the charming gay couple, Mitchell and Cameron, are trying to get their daughter into a posh private school. I don’t want to steal it’s thunder, so please enjoy:
It’s a light, hilarious take on how intersectionality is traditionally viewed: That the more memberships in minorities you have, the more affirmation you can expect from “woke” peers. Spoiler— kinda— Mitch and Cam decide not to send their Lily to the stuck-up private school; They’re not about that elitist life.
Now juxtapose that comedic depiction to this falsely educational one, starring Ben Shapiro (the epitome of the “ima play devil’s advocate” asshole vibe):
Here, Shapiro is claiming that the more “victim groups” you belong to, the higher your opinion is valued in society. First of all. And I cannot stress this enough. Being erased, ignored, underserved, and underrepresented is the life experience of minorities. Especially for intersectional people. By definition, their opinions are systematically undervalued. Being a documented, English-speaking, able-bodied, cisgender, straight, white male with a graduate education and decent income is one of the most powerful things you can be in America, Ben! It’s very easy for someone like you to say that intersectionality doesn’t matter and that your voice is being silenced. But you obviously have a whole platform to say the backwards and unprogressive things you are saying, and the irony is lost on you. Why are you so salty that people with multiply-burdens need more social attention in order to reach equality? Why are you so hurt? Also, why do you always look like you just got kicked out of a funeral for opening your mouth?
Anyways. Pardon the ad hominem.
You, dear reader, know which side I’m on at this point. Conservative thinkers see intersectionality as a dangerous caste-system of victim statuses. However, victims don’t want to stay victims. They want their stories heard and for their experiences to be validated to their point where, truly, all lives matter. But until then, yes, minorities need the boost: politically, socially, and economically. And this “boost”, known as equity, looks like:
- affirmative action
- defunding the police
- anti-hate legislature
- LGBTQ+ safe spaces
- cultural sensitivity trainings
- inclusive public education curricula
- all-gender public bathrooms
- accessible building design
- and more
To the privileged person, these things don’t look great. Their life is already guaranteed great things for being born outside of most minorities. And therefore equity comes off as oppression. Parents are mad at universities that admit Black and queer applicants over their straight, white kids. Men feel scared of doing something wrong since the MeToo movement caught ground. White frat boys think anybody should get to say the n-word. And the f-word (for gay men) and the d-word (for gay women) and the r-word (for autistic individuals)…
These beliefs are tone-deaf, to say the least. Understanding and supporting the needs of underserved minorities is the key to resolving social justice issues. It means acknowledging one’s set of privileges and being willing to use them to instead amplify the voices of their less-privileged peers. As a brown gay person, I know I need the support of cisgender straight white men to help me and my successors to live safe, full lives. As an educated, upper-middle class man, I also know I need to support those who don’t share my advantages. That means opening my purse for activism charities, marching in solidarity, stopping man-splainers, and opening my ears. Wider than Ben Shapiro’s mouth.
